Empty Mirror

Marissa Pecorelli || Fall 2020

in the mirror there’s no reflection
I could’ve sworn I was there yesterday
now I am blank— I am Not

you saw me too, right?
on our nights without when we didn’t know I was sick
I tried to love you
but I was Not— half-hearted excuses couldn’t hide it any longer
I’d say I forgot but there was nothing to remember
still, I’m sorry

she left me a ring in her will
it’s around my neck on a pretty gold chain
I don’t hate it but some days it shouts
angry and sinful
did she know?
I never went to church— 
still, I confess

I never lied while knowing— 
not to people who deserved the truth
but did I deserve to know?
wrong and wronged
how do I exist when I couldn’t before?

I am and am Not
particles of air stand in place of my reflection— 
I don’t need a mirror
to know what is.