haunting

prom queen by isabel ledezma

haunting by emma burden

Even though I have you now,
Asleep in front of me, 
Nursing the fur of your cat, 
Laying between my arms
I can’t help but to picture the person you used to be

The person who wasn’t mine, 
Holding hands with a man who stared me down,
Kissing him, and laughing to him the way you should have
laughed with me

The way you laughed with me,
Is something that I want to love
I want to remember the smiles we shared, the times with your hands running through my hair
Your voice oscillating and loud, almost crying from your joy
When we both knew that we should be together, but you were tied to him

It haunts me when I hold you,
The image of you with a man, two strong arms supporting you,
My feminine frame proving weak

It haunts me when I close my eyes, and all that I can see is your laughter with him
And even though I have you now,
Asleep in front of me
You’re reeling from the trauma, of loving a man who didn’t love you in return, 
Who didn’t laugh with you, instead a snarled cackle coming from his lips, 
Me hearing him call you a witch, contrary to himself

It haunts me when you cry, when you tell me that you want to love me, but that he ruined you,
That he made you never want to love again, 
How you were left abandoned, how I hear you screaming in the shower as the water won’t wash you clean

It haunts me, because every time I close my eyes,
I see your smile, I hear your laugh, I see the two of us on top of each other, holding back our
voices, letting out the laughter anyway
I close my eyes so tight it hurts, and I stuff my ears with cotton,
But you’re laughing

And it haunts me to know that you haven’t laughed since him