follow your heart by ann pekata

Marie stared straight ahead, betraying her heart and fulfilling her duty. Instead of the priest’s words echoing the ceremony she had heard over and over again at her sisters’ weddings, Marie heard the words Elizabeth had spoken to her the night before.

    “If you go through with this, you will never see me again,” Elizabeth had said to Marie, right after Marie had assured her that nothing would ever change between them. “This is not what you want. This will not make you happy. And I will not be here to help you.”

    The words galloped through Marie’s mind, as loud as her nieces and nephews that no servant had the courage to scold. The words escaped her mind and whirled around the church hall. A beautiful hall it had to be admitted; the stained glass shone with the setting sun’s light. Marie had hardly noticed it when she walked down the aisle, but now that she could no longer breathe, she found herself focusing on the sun and its diminishing rays.

    There was a man standing in front of her, but Marie paid him no mind. Even if she could bear to look at him, it was not the man who would be her husband. The man who would be her husband was away in a different country. What was considered the most important day in Marie’s life, and her future husband could not be there.

    “You will never see me again,” Elizabeth’s voice, normally so musical and full of sunshine, struck at Marie’s chest.

     The pang was so fierce it Marie found tears forming in her eyes. She closed her eyes, the fake smile on her face growing a little to make it seem to the court that she was merely happy. Marie forced the tears back. She knew her heart was watching somewhere, and Marie could not bear to show weakness in front of her, not on today of all days. 

Elizabeth had promised she would be there. Marie knew she was. She had quickly learned what it felt like when Elizabeth was in a room and when she was not. The world had started to brighten when Elizabeth was around, and the fear of the dark that had haunted Marie when she was a child was suddenly close at hand on Marie’s own wedding day. 

“I do.” The man standing in for her husband spoke the words that started to bind Marie to her fate. The words, so vital to the ceremony, spoken to a complete stranger.​

   “I do,” Elizabeth had whispered to Marie one summer’s morning when they had been walking through the garden. Marie had asked Elizabeth the question that had been plaguing her mind all morning: “do you love me?” And with two words, all shadow of doubt that Marie would be blessed with a life of happiness had vanished. Until, of course, her mother’s announcement of her engagement.

     Everything Louis was not, Elizabeth was. Louis was proud, immature, and a gentleman. Elizabeth was humble, confident, and an honest person who represented herself as she was. The memories of Marie’s time with Elizabeth flashed through her mind as she repeated the words the priest taught her. Each sentence, a new memory fading away.

     “Do you take this man…” the words suddenly snapped the world into focus. Marie was no longer standing in the fountain, laughing so hard that she could not breathe as Elizabeth tried to splash her with the water, and was back in the cold church. The vulture’s eyes were turned expectantly to her, fans snapping open, their beaks whispering behind their hands at what they thought was going on through her mind.

    “I love you,” Elizabeth whispered in Marie’s ear.

    “If you do this, you will never see me again,” her lover’s voice pounded in Marie’s head.

    Marie drew in a breath. As she did, her eyes were drawn of their own accord to Elizabeth. She was in the church, just as she promised she would be. She was standing in the back of the hall, and yet Marie could see her perfectly. The love, the pain, the anguish, and the hope all mirroring on Elizabeth’s face what Marie felt in her own soul.​

      Their eyes met for a brief moment, and in that moment, Marie felt her heart shatter. Elizabeth turned and walked away, each of her footsteps a harsh slap against Marie’s face. Tears began to form again, and this time, Marie could not force them back. As she turned back to the priest, her gaze watched the last of the sun’s light disappear behind edge of the world. Marie had crossed over into the eternal darkness, forever devoid of light and true happiness.

    “I do.”