A SHADE DARKER BY MARY ALTER

Of course there were rumors of a time before the darkness, but nobody now could stretch to even the farthest trenches of their imagination to conceive it. All anybody ever knew was darkness, though Malia didn’t think it as such. It was just the way of the world, and had the hushed voices of her sisters speaking of something they called “light” not infiltrated, she would never have thought any different.  

    Her mother was a gatherer, trained to hear the ripe fruits and vegetables as the wind blew past them. Malia was training along-side her, eager to do what she could to help. Her two sisters worked with her father, head of the meteorology department of their government, the most important branch, trained to listen to the air and predict the rains and the snow.

    Everything was as it should be, until Malia’s sisters came home after a long day of work, hearts beating so loud in the darkness that they sounded like thunder to Malia’s ears.

    “It’s not just rumors, Malia.” Her older sister, Katie, whispered frantically. Malia didn’t have a chance to voice her confusion before her younger sister, Annabelle, chimed in.

    “We saw it! It’s out there! Father says it’s called light, but nobody is supposed to know about it.” Her voice grew softer with every word, the fear of being heard pulsed around them in waves.

     They told Malia about the lighting they saw expose the sky in the far distance from a thunderstorm. It was only a flash and then it was over, but then it happened again. And again. They were training with their father at the top of the listening deck meters in the sky where only meteorology officials were allowed to listen for impending foul weather to warn the rest.  

    “Father said it was beyond our lands, that you could only see it from that high up and that the lightning would never reach us.” This was the first any of them had heard of lands outside their own.

    “And why can’t we see this light here?” Malia asked them, her own heart pounding loudly within her chest.

    “It makes sense. Father says it’s for our protection. Everybody has a purpose, and everybody works together to accomplish their own tasks for the greater good without distraction.” Though the sisters were excited, neither of them seemed very fazed by this news. The next day, the incident was all but forgotten, and they resumed to their normal work.

    Despite that, Malia couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling from her bones. For the next week she was unable to focus on work, to the point that her mother forced her to stay home and clear that pent up head of hers.

    While she was home, she heard her father run past the door with her sisters in tow, running towards the lift that would take them to the listening deck, a storm fast approaching. Malia ran out of the house to join them, and in the excitement, her father didn’t stop her. Her sisters took her hand and led her up to the top with them, knowing well why she came.

    “Just stare way into the distance, that’s what we did last time.” And so she did. Nothing changed for the longest time, and Malia was sure that it was just a fanciful tale her sisters had made up to trick her, like they would do when they all were much younger. Nobody else moved, though, and so she waited.

    She almost missed it the first time. But there it was again, a flash and then back to the blackness she knew well. Her sisters squealed in delight, but she was silent. Her world was crumbling down around her, and in all the darkness she had never felt more exposed.

     The days that followed were a whirlwind, but the fact that remained grounded through it was that Malia could not stay. The entirety of her life had been a lie she didn’t understand the truth to, she might never understand the truth to, but it was too late to turn back.

    She had no plan, no idea what would happen to her once she left, but nonetheless she left anyway. She set off in the direction that she saw the lightning and continued to walk, day and night, using her skills as a gatherer to collect food as she went.

    The blackness in front of her gradually turned to grey. It was so subtle she didn’t notice it at first, but it was undeniable. As she pushed forward more, the darkness seemed to pull her back. Black thoughts pooled in her mind, and she began to sputter for breath and drown in them. Every fiber in her body was telling her to turn back, return to the comforting darkness she was accustomed to.

    But she couldn’t shake the picture of the lightning blotting out the darkness, and that thought rang out louder than all of the others.

    She stepped into the greyness in front of her, and the light blinded her.

    Everywhere, now, there is light. Malia is on the top of a bluff, and two hundred feet straight down below is the ocean. The grass is the brightest green, the ocean the deepest blue. She looks to her left, and there’s the soft pink glow of the rising sun in front of her.

    She never had a word for these things or these colors before, but the knowledge of the light fills her brain and is undeniably true. The vibrancy all around her colors her insides and bubbles her heart and suddenly she is laughing and the sound is bright yellow, and her thoughts are a happy orange, and her smile is a melancholy purple.

    She turns around, to take a look back at the darkness she came from, but all that meets her is more light from all sides, and suddenly she can’t quite remember where she was before.

    All that exists is the blinding light overtaking her, caressing her, encompassing her thoughts, and so she walks towards the rising sun.